How Far is Too Far?
How far is too far? We find ourselves attracted to a guy and we want to know "where is the line for the physical expression in our relationship?" Just how close can we get before we have violated some level of intimacy that needs to be saved for marriage?
Mary Kassian says in Girls Gone Wise that this is the wrong question? The deep meaning of our relationships is lost in the SEX SATURATED world where we live! So how do we find out what our romantic lives are supposed to be like?
Mary Kassian says in Girls Gone Wise that this is the wrong question? The deep meaning of our relationships is lost in the SEX SATURATED world where we live! So how do we find out what our romantic lives are supposed to be like?
The Ring
A young woman was very close to an elderly aunt who had no children. After her death, this niece was invited to go through her aunt's jewelry and pick out whatever she would like to keep.
A large collection of old costume jewelry had little appeal to her, but she loved her aunt and picked out a few things to remember her. One ring was particularly attractive so she tried it on and it fit. There were lots of small cubic zirconium stones forming the lovely shape. She kept the ring and enjoyed wearing it. She lifeguarded and cleaned with chemicals with it on because she didn't think it would matter. A few weeks later she was in a jewelry store and asked the jeweler if the ring was of any value. Much to her surprise, the "cz" stones were really diamonds and the ring was worth several thousand dollars. Needless to say, she took the ring off and now stores it in a safe place. She wears it only for special occasions; she knows the real value of the ring. It is no longer ordinary!
Hopefully, you will see that the ordinary and loose expressions of sexual conduct in our culture do not come close to demonstrating the real value that God assigned to sex. It was created with deeply precious foundations. The intimate relationship between a man and woman is a picture of something much more permanent than physical pleasure. We don't celebrate sex as much as we should, we make it cheap and ordinary by tearing it away from its real meaning. It is a symbol of the deep picture of intimacy that is rooted in the Good News of the Gospel and the love of God.
A large collection of old costume jewelry had little appeal to her, but she loved her aunt and picked out a few things to remember her. One ring was particularly attractive so she tried it on and it fit. There were lots of small cubic zirconium stones forming the lovely shape. She kept the ring and enjoyed wearing it. She lifeguarded and cleaned with chemicals with it on because she didn't think it would matter. A few weeks later she was in a jewelry store and asked the jeweler if the ring was of any value. Much to her surprise, the "cz" stones were really diamonds and the ring was worth several thousand dollars. Needless to say, she took the ring off and now stores it in a safe place. She wears it only for special occasions; she knows the real value of the ring. It is no longer ordinary!
Hopefully, you will see that the ordinary and loose expressions of sexual conduct in our culture do not come close to demonstrating the real value that God assigned to sex. It was created with deeply precious foundations. The intimate relationship between a man and woman is a picture of something much more permanent than physical pleasure. We don't celebrate sex as much as we should, we make it cheap and ordinary by tearing it away from its real meaning. It is a symbol of the deep picture of intimacy that is rooted in the Good News of the Gospel and the love of God.
So what does SEX have to do with the Gospel?
Remember in Genesis 2 where God created the man and the woman? They were created in His image, but they were not exactly the same. The relationship they were to have together was unique, each giving to the other in some distinct ways. The idea of a BRIDE is not exclusively related to the marriage of a man and woman in Scripture, it is a picture of a larger reality. In Ephesians 1:2-11 you can just drink in the love language of God for His children. Before the foundation of the world (Wow!) God chose us to be in relationship with Him through His Son, to be adopted into His family. God knew that man would sin from the beginning and the love relationship of deep fellowship would be horribly broken. God had a plan, to buy man back from his sin and restore that empty, brokenness of life without His fellowship. The plan was for the painful gift of God's Son's blood to pay for our sin that we might become a people who are pure and acceptable before Him. When Jesus paid the price for His Bride on the cross, He was buying back hearts for a relationship to Himself. The Church is composed of His Bride, those who have accepted His grace and are following Him. We are awaiting a future time of being with Him in eternal intimacy. Marriage and sex are both gifts and symbols of the future time when we will be His forever and know and be known by Him. So when a man and woman commit their life to God and to each other in marriage, they have made an agreement with God that they will love and care for each other until they die. The gift of physical intimacy is the mark of this covenant relationship. It is anything but ordinary!
Remember in Genesis 2 where God created the man and the woman? They were created in His image, but they were not exactly the same. The relationship they were to have together was unique, each giving to the other in some distinct ways. The idea of a BRIDE is not exclusively related to the marriage of a man and woman in Scripture, it is a picture of a larger reality. In Ephesians 1:2-11 you can just drink in the love language of God for His children. Before the foundation of the world (Wow!) God chose us to be in relationship with Him through His Son, to be adopted into His family. God knew that man would sin from the beginning and the love relationship of deep fellowship would be horribly broken. God had a plan, to buy man back from his sin and restore that empty, brokenness of life without His fellowship. The plan was for the painful gift of God's Son's blood to pay for our sin that we might become a people who are pure and acceptable before Him. When Jesus paid the price for His Bride on the cross, He was buying back hearts for a relationship to Himself. The Church is composed of His Bride, those who have accepted His grace and are following Him. We are awaiting a future time of being with Him in eternal intimacy. Marriage and sex are both gifts and symbols of the future time when we will be His forever and know and be known by Him. So when a man and woman commit their life to God and to each other in marriage, they have made an agreement with God that they will love and care for each other until they die. The gift of physical intimacy is the mark of this covenant relationship. It is anything but ordinary!
Designer Insights
If a young woman understands that her sexuality is part of God's plan for intimacy on earth with her husband and that it reflects the picture of God's love for His beloved Bride, then how should she conduct herself sexually?
In the Bible when a woman was betrothed, (which is a bit like being engaged, only a much greater level of commitment) she was very careful to be busy with preparations for the wedding. She was "taken" and she kept herself for her groom. As the Bride of Christ, we are waiting to be with Him forever, we must keep ourselves pure for Him. A young unmarried woman should ask "How can I keep my heart/ life pure for You in this relationship Jesus?"
Read I Thessalonians 4:3-5 To be sanctified is to be set a part. What does this passage have to say about sexual conduct?
Read Ephesians 5:3-4 If you use this advice as a standard, how far is too far to go in sexual expression outside of marriage?
If a young woman understands that her sexuality is part of God's plan for intimacy on earth with her husband and that it reflects the picture of God's love for His beloved Bride, then how should she conduct herself sexually?
In the Bible when a woman was betrothed, (which is a bit like being engaged, only a much greater level of commitment) she was very careful to be busy with preparations for the wedding. She was "taken" and she kept herself for her groom. As the Bride of Christ, we are waiting to be with Him forever, we must keep ourselves pure for Him. A young unmarried woman should ask "How can I keep my heart/ life pure for You in this relationship Jesus?"
Read I Thessalonians 4:3-5 To be sanctified is to be set a part. What does this passage have to say about sexual conduct?
Read Ephesians 5:3-4 If you use this advice as a standard, how far is too far to go in sexual expression outside of marriage?
Read Hebrews 12:14 What happens to the believer who refuses to be holy?
If you have failed in this area, it is time to seek forgiveness and start over. I John 1:9 says that when we come to Jesus in true confession and turning from our sin, He will forgive us and cleanse us. This is GRACE from the Heavenly Bridegroom! Don't go back to the ordinary now that you know the true value of your sexuality. Cover your heart and your body and walk in dignity until the time for sexual celebration in marriage is yours.
Wonderful post:)
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