Girls Gone Wise Book Blog 3: Approach

Point of Contrast 3: Approach
Are you "Wiley"?

Wil E Coyote! Mary Kassian tells us that the creator of this character made him to "be a living breathing allegory of Want." *(GGW p.46)' I gotta have it' is stamped on his relentless plan to clobber roadrunner. Proverbs 7:10 talks about a woman who is "wiley" at heart. She also has a hidden plan to get what she wants. She knows how to manipulate and she is not afraid to try it.

Maybe it's like the girl who is dying to be in a relationship with a guy at school. She tells her parents she is going to meet some friends at the movies, but an amazing thing happens. Imagine this, her dream guy just happens to be at the movies too. Technically, she did nothing wrong, but the truth is she manipulated everyone to get what she wanted. Mary challenges girls to "take their hand off the director's chair" and let God order their love lives. Solomon comes through to give us super advice about giving up the control of our hearts to the One who made us.
Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding; think about Him in all your ways, and He will guide you on the right paths."(HCSB) God wants to write your love story! Why don't you give Him the pen?

Designer Insights

Our culture encourages girls to use their body, their emotions, their words, circumstances and even some spiritual things to manipulate guys. God has made it clear in His Word that those who believe in Him and trust Him must trust their lives to Him. He wants us to depend on Him and let Him direct our steps. When we manipulate, we move Him aside and take over. We are setting ourselves up to fail when we refuse the advice of the One who knows us best.

Read Proverbs 24:8-9

What does it say about a person that plans to do evil? Do you think this verse could refer to manipulative schemes too?

Even though every voice we hear in the world tells us to do what is necessary to get what we want, God does NOT agree.

Read James 4:10

What does James tell believers to do in their heart attitude before God?

Manipulation, exaggeration and self exaltation are three "tions" to be shunned for sure!

*(GGW) Girls Gone Wise

Girls Gone Wise Book Blog 2: Counsel

Point of Contrast 2
Counsel: Do you get your counsel from the world or the Word?

Need a guide to help you sort out your life? The headlines in this pic are this month's bold topics from several best selling picks from the news stand for girls. Lots of advice here for the surface stuff. Did you by any chance notice what is missing? As long as you're scoping the pages for some fashion advice or a short cut to body-beautiful you've got it; there's plenty of posters and print to feed your interest in guys, but what about your heart? Is there any counsel that will get you on the right path?
Girls get counsel or advice 24/7. Take this quiz and you will see what I mean:
Who is Edward?
Finish these names: Miley ______
Justin ______
What does Hollister sell?
What does the word rainbows make you think about?
Venus is the name on what useful item?
So how did you do? No study required for this quiz!

Mary Kassian gives a second contrast between the Girl Gone Wise and the Girl Gone Wild. She says the Girl Gone Wise is getting her counsel from God's word and the Girl Gone Wild is soaking up the counsel of the world. The writer of the Psalms opens the book telling who gets the ticket to GREAT blessing. That one who clings to God and ceases to search for life's answers from the world is going to be blessed. Mary writes a paraphrase of this in Psalm 1:1-2.
"She does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stand in the way of sinners, nor sit in the seat of scoffers; but her delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law she meditates day and night." Did you catch the progression here? First she is just walking by, then she stands still taking it all in, and the next thing you know, she is sitting down at the scoffers university. She has found her home among those who blatantly mock the Truth. Kassian quotes Joshua Harris who reminds us that it's like ingesting a little poison each day. It won't kill you on day one, but how much will it take to kill you a little bit at a time?

Designer Insights

Can you trace the compromising steps Eve took? Following bad counsel leads to bad choices.
Genesis 3:1 The serpent caused Eve to ________ God's instructions. (question)
Genesis 3:4-5 The serpent gave Eve a different consequence than the one ___ had given and tricked her into considering the fruit from ____ perspective. (God, his)
Genesis 3:6 She bought into the serpent's lies completely and strayed from ______ instructions. (God's)
Genesis 3: 6b She acted on her desires. She ate the fruit and brought severe _________ on herself and involved her husband. (judgment)
This progression happens to girls all the time. Here's an example: God has said that for believers "there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality." Read I Thessalonians 4:3-4.

This means we choose no relationships with any guys that do not want to honor us as sisters in Christ. It also means no inappropriate words or touching in a relationship. The messages we hear and see from the media slowly wear down our sense of what is wrong. We might say "he's such a nice guy and he goes to church," but in our hearts we know that he is not a follower of Jesus. We go into the relationship thinking we will control things so it will be fine. There is a temptation to get involved physically and slowly we rationalize that just this one little thing is OK and there will never be more. Each boundary is crossed with tiny steps that lead to destructive behavior. Do you know that Adam and Eve died because of their choice to disobey God? Choices have consequences! God warns us to keep us from suffering the consequences. His love for us drives Him to protect us with boundaries that will keep us safe in His love and care.

Girls Gone Wise Book Blog Contrast 1: Heart

What do your feet say about your heart?

These are the feet of some beautiful girls with beautiful voices on their way to womanhood. I wonder where those lovely feet will take the young ladies they are carrying. It's a perfect question! Mary Kassian puts a magnifying glass on the way God answers the question "What do your feet say about your heart?" The wise father giving his son some critical advice about women in Proverbs 5 and 7 tells him to watch where a girls feet are taking her. In Proverbs 5:5-6 he says this is the kind of girl you need to run from ..."She does not ponder the path of life; Her ways are unstable, she does not know it." Let me give this to you straight up, a girl needs to know where she is going; she needs to think about where her feet are taking her. The link to the heart is that if she is led by her emotions and desires, she will not think about where her feet are taking her. Whatever feeling she has will be her guide. Now ladies, we all know that we girls have a lot of feelings and they are not always good.
Take Eve for instance, remember her desire to eat the forbidden fruit? She wanted that fruit! Like Eve girls who don't stop to think about where they are headed can ruin their lives. Here's a perfect example: in a feature for a girls, a pop magazine enchants girls to find some mysterious love on the beach this summer. "Cute" bikinis are captioned with advice on how to max your beauty so your eye-catching body will win you some love from a drop-dead gorgeous guy. What kind of path is this? It all seems innocent enough. BUT it's not so innocent.

The Beach Retreat

Insert heart-checkup here! Watch this! Claire is active in the youth group and headed for the beach for a retreat. She packs her Bible and plans her cutest wardrobe combos around each of the days. She likes the idea of the spiritual retreat because it has been a dry time in her heart. And the truth is she is really excited about being with the guys on the retreat and maybe getting into a relationship for the summer. The retreat finally happens and it is fabulous, she catches Brad's eye at the first meeting and they start sitting together. Before long the retreat is about Brad and not about her relationship with Jesus. Claire never intended not to put Jesus first, but she missed HIM and she may not even know it. Why? She did not set out to seek Him first and let Him guide her life. Where is her mind and heart? Is she thinking about what needs to be first? Jesus is who she needs the most; only He can satisfy the longings of her feminine heart and guide her in relationships. But she gave Jesus a seat along side of her desires thinking she could work with both. She had not made the critical decision to give her heart wholly to Him. He fills anxious, tender hearts with His love and cleans away the dirt of sin when a young woman gives her heart to Him. He surrendered His life on the cross to pay for every sin and clear the path to real love. Cry out to Him, search for Him, passionately desire to love Him with all your heart! Fight everything that distracts you from His love! He alone is the Shepherd and Guardian of your soul. No one will ever care for you like Jesus!

Designer Insights

Mary lists these verses to show us what God says about a real relationship with Him.

Read Deuteronomy 11:1 God commands His children to do two things here; what are they?

John 14:15 What is a test for true love for Jesus in this verse?

1 John 2:6 Walking is the metaphor God uses to help us see that our lives are moving in a direction. If we expect to know/ experience a relationship with God, what does this verse say we need?

Proverbs 14:16 (NIV) A wise man is cautious and turns away from evil, but a fool is arrogant and careless.

A wise woman makes a decision about the direction of her heart and feet, a wild woman just follows the world into deception. God will teach the wise steps in His word, but don't forget the most important thing is that He deeply loves you and wants to hold your hand and lead you on the path of all that is good.

Girls Gone Wise Book Blog Intro: Wild Thing

What are the big ideas we need to get from this time together?
Mary wants her readers to grow in discernment...that means a
real clear sense of what is wise and what is not in a girl's attitudes, thoughts
and behaviors. What's the difference between the wild girl with the wise girl?

What makes your heart pound?

Maybe you are a girl in a Christian School, home schooled or even a girl who is very active in your youth group at church. You have a lot of Christian "stuff" in your life, so pretty much, you have the religious part of your life covered. After all, compared to the rest of the world, you are doing a sweet job of keeping your end of the deal. That deal is about duty! The woman in Proverbs 7 that Mary dubs a "wild" woman is religious too. She has just returned from giving her worship offerings, but in the same verse she is seeking what she wants...a guy.(Proverbs 7:14) She puts on some clothes that are sure to get his attention and she launches her passionate search for him. You can feel the tension building as she has her heart set on getting this guy for herself with a "gotta have him" determination. Where is her heart? Does she even consider whether this is a good idea? Mary talks about the heart- foot connection. Where a girl's heart is focused is where her feet will take her. Here's the hard question! What is the focus of your heart? No judgment here, just a critical question.
Who do we love most, God or ourselves? Love, this is not a distant idea, a real heartbeat kind of love. What does it mean to really love God? What does the word delight mean to you? Intense joy and happiness, even a sense of being captivated is what delight is all about. In God’s Word, delight often appears as people are invited into a relationship with Him. God knows the heart of a girl, a woman. He knows your desire to be known and to know someone deeply. He created you for this kind of relationship! He is a Father who knows your heart and wants to show you love from His perspective. It about HIM!

Designer Insights

Read Deuteronomy 7:9 Covenant and stedfast love are words that mean God will never walk away from a heart that seeks Him and walks after Him.
Why is it necessary to keep God’s commands?
What are the rewards of loving God?
Read: Ephesians 5:15
What thought do you give to the path you are taking with your life and relationships?
This journey is going to be about getting to know God and your own heart from His view point. Will you make a commitment to come with us?

Introducing Girls Gone Wise

"Hot" - how many times have you heard that word today? "Hot" is in, and every girl is hearing that to be hot is the ultimate compliment. A couple of pop mags featured page after page of advice on how to look hot and get guys to notice you. What's a girl to do? lol ...actually...don't lol! Because we (you and I, girls) are stuck in media madness. The ultimate rush is that being a woman is being one part of a hot couple or least getting a lot of male attention! That's a lot of pressure girls... Question: is that all there is? How does God feel about this whole "hot" thing? Isn't that just a "girl gone wild"?
Mary Kassian is a woman who really cares about the struggles that younger (and older) women are facing. Her new book, Girls Gone Wise, cuts through these issues from God's perspective. On Tuesday and Thursday of each week starting May 18th, Mary's video blog will be posted here. Start at the bottom of the page and work your way up to the latest post, if you are just beginning. With each video, I will post Scripture, excerpts from the book, and some questions to help younger women find the design and behavior of a "girl gone wise". Both Mary and I really care about the tough challenges in your life and want to help you discover and celebrate true womanhood from the Designer's perspective.