Purity Rating:100%
She wasn't looking for the relationship, but he started coming by the coffee shop and the conversations grew into a few innocently romantic dates. She was a follower of Jesus and she was eager to share her faith with him as she got to know him. He invited her to a party a couple of weeks later and she rationalized her way past her better judgment and decided to go with him. She had no intentions of doing anything that would harm her reputation. The date went terribly wrong. She was somehow tricked into drinking a drug that knocked her out.
Mary Kassian tells of her conversation with this young woman five years later in the introduction to this chapter. She innocently trusted the young man with whom she went to the
party. Can you imagine the horror she felt when a few weeks later she learned she was pregnant? She had been date-raped and this Christian young woman, with innocent intentions, had to face the brokenness of her life and a pregnancy out of wedlock. Mary explains the deep damage this had on her soul which was still painfully present five years later.
Young women are sometimes the victims of abuse by men and they often are not guilty in these situations. But one important thing to learn from this chapter in GGW is how to avoid many of these situations and others with responsibility through living a lifestyle guarded by sturdy hedges. If the young woman we discussed above had been cautious about her involvement with a young man she did not really know and had been careful to avoid environments she could not trust, she may never have had to experience the horror that evening brought to her life.
What kind of decisions do you need to make to create hedges for yourself?
Environmental Hedges and The WHY!
Do you REALLY know Jesus? When the early church was gripped by the reality that He was "for real" raised from the dead, it all began to make sense in a deeper way. God had sent His Son to tell them of His love and mercy. Jesus did do miracles and teach a way of life that brought joy and hope. He did suffer horribly, though He was not guilty, to buy forgiveness and settle the separation that sin wedged between man and God. They got it! And they were full of joy, so much joy! Even when the disciples were put into jail and beaten for teaching and proclaiming this great news, the Scriptures report that they were "full with joy that they had been considered worthy to bear humiliation for the sake of the name." (Acts 5:41 JB Phillips translation) The relationship they had with Jesus was more important to them than anything. He loved them and they were HIS! Lifestyles changed dramatically for this group of hopeful followers. You should read this exciting story in the book of Acts. The center of their lives and faith community was knowing and obeying Jesus!
When we think of hedges, we need the reference point of God's love for us to help us focus our lives on Him. Hedges keep things in and hedges keep things out! In this point of contrast Mary Kassian reminds us that the woman of Proverbs 7 is out in places when she does not need to be with the intention of entrapping a man. She is out in the darkness with lustful intent, she was not hedged into a proper place of self restraint. (Proverbs 7:9) This is a critical point for a girl who is choosing to be a wise follower of Jesus. In contrast to patrolling the night scene to meet up with a member of the male species, a wise girl is considering carefully where she needs to be to avoid dangers to her person and to her reputation. You can see that one of the main differences between a woman who is cautious and a woman who is not is a sense of dignity in who owns her life and she knows she is precious to Him.. Where she goes and what she does reflects a lot on her sense of worth and her desire to keep her relationship with Jesus close. She will not put herself in environments that risk distracting or exposing her mind, heart or body. She should never "be on the prowl" to meet guys. She looks to God to bring proper relationships her way and she would never settle for just anybody. So what if the world laughs at you? A little persecution here for the sake of the precious Name of Jesus is not a big deal ladies!
Mary Kassian tells of her conversation with this young woman five years later in the introduction to this chapter. She innocently trusted the young man with whom she went to the
party. Can you imagine the horror she felt when a few weeks later she learned she was pregnant? She had been date-raped and this Christian young woman, with innocent intentions, had to face the brokenness of her life and a pregnancy out of wedlock. Mary explains the deep damage this had on her soul which was still painfully present five years later.
Young women are sometimes the victims of abuse by men and they often are not guilty in these situations. But one important thing to learn from this chapter in GGW is how to avoid many of these situations and others with responsibility through living a lifestyle guarded by sturdy hedges. If the young woman we discussed above had been cautious about her involvement with a young man she did not really know and had been careful to avoid environments she could not trust, she may never have had to experience the horror that evening brought to her life.
What kind of decisions do you need to make to create hedges for yourself?
Environmental Hedges and The WHY!
Do you REALLY know Jesus? When the early church was gripped by the reality that He was "for real" raised from the dead, it all began to make sense in a deeper way. God had sent His Son to tell them of His love and mercy. Jesus did do miracles and teach a way of life that brought joy and hope. He did suffer horribly, though He was not guilty, to buy forgiveness and settle the separation that sin wedged between man and God. They got it! And they were full of joy, so much joy! Even when the disciples were put into jail and beaten for teaching and proclaiming this great news, the Scriptures report that they were "full with joy that they had been considered worthy to bear humiliation for the sake of the name." (Acts 5:41 JB Phillips translation) The relationship they had with Jesus was more important to them than anything. He loved them and they were HIS! Lifestyles changed dramatically for this group of hopeful followers. You should read this exciting story in the book of Acts. The center of their lives and faith community was knowing and obeying Jesus!
When we think of hedges, we need the reference point of God's love for us to help us focus our lives on Him. Hedges keep things in and hedges keep things out! In this point of contrast Mary Kassian reminds us that the woman of Proverbs 7 is out in places when she does not need to be with the intention of entrapping a man. She is out in the darkness with lustful intent, she was not hedged into a proper place of self restraint. (Proverbs 7:9) This is a critical point for a girl who is choosing to be a wise follower of Jesus. In contrast to patrolling the night scene to meet up with a member of the male species, a wise girl is considering carefully where she needs to be to avoid dangers to her person and to her reputation. You can see that one of the main differences between a woman who is cautious and a woman who is not is a sense of dignity in who owns her life and she knows she is precious to Him.. Where she goes and what she does reflects a lot on her sense of worth and her desire to keep her relationship with Jesus close. She will not put herself in environments that risk distracting or exposing her mind, heart or body. She should never "be on the prowl" to meet guys. She looks to God to bring proper relationships her way and she would never settle for just anybody. So what if the world laughs at you? A little persecution here for the sake of the precious Name of Jesus is not a big deal ladies!
Physical Hedges
The Psalmist asks "How shall a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word." (Psalm 119:9 ESV) These words are for every human being and instruct that the journey of life is to be guarded by whom? The young person being addressed here is responsible for keeping his way pure. The guidance for the guarding and the hedging is in God's Word. A young woman has to take ownership of the power of her sexuality. The curves of her body and femininity are appealing to men and draw them to desire her when they are exposed.
God commands modesty because it is a way of hedging protection around the woman and the mind of the man. Sure it's very cool to be "hot" in our culture and to dress to attract a compliment like that is asking a guy to look at your body, not you as a person. That's off of God's boundary list. Clothing should cover the contours and minimize the exposure of skin that draws the eye toward the secret parts of your body. That does not mean you can not be stylish, but it does mean that the styles you choose are not to uncover and draw a man to look at you in a way that only your husband should look at you. Careful checks on your chest, waistline and legs should be a regular part of the way you honor your body for the greater honor of your relationship with Jesus. Surely He smiles when His daughters pull that cami up to conceal delicate cleavage from the eyes that don't need to see it, or when she changes her skirt because she will not risk drawing attention to the intimate places of her body. She is hedging her purity in with a message that says, "I am not cheap, and I'm not begging for you to check me out".
Another place of physical hedging is how a young woman touches or allows herself to be touched. Impurity can begin so innocently. A girl who gives a hug to a guy with full body contact may not recognize that having this level of contact is very stimulating to her guy friends. She needs to avoid placing her body against her guy friends in order to protect herself and to protect them from wandering down unacceptable thought paths about her. It will sound pretty old school to say that physical touch like making out and the things that happen after that are off the list of a wise girl's "acceptable behavior list", but they are. Physical touching is progressive. If you are not responsible to set a boundary that keeps things at a respectable stopping point, you will easily keep on the escalator and go further and further toward acts that are sacredly designed for marriage. Paul tells the new believers not to defraud or steal from each other in this way. This guarding begins with how you speak to a guy. Mary reminds young women to keep all your electronic communication pure; don't phone, text, chat, email, skype, or anything else you have available, any message of yourself that is intentionally sexual. Don't tease with seductive words or looks. Don't invite or allow touch that is intended to be sensuous. Don't invite a guy to touch your legs, or other parts of your body that you should share only with your husband. Set the hedge up now with a heart that wants to please the Lover of your soul. When the time comes for the full expression of marital intimacy, you will reap a rich reward.
God commands modesty because it is a way of hedging protection around the woman and the mind of the man. Sure it's very cool to be "hot" in our culture and to dress to attract a compliment like that is asking a guy to look at your body, not you as a person. That's off of God's boundary list. Clothing should cover the contours and minimize the exposure of skin that draws the eye toward the secret parts of your body. That does not mean you can not be stylish, but it does mean that the styles you choose are not to uncover and draw a man to look at you in a way that only your husband should look at you. Careful checks on your chest, waistline and legs should be a regular part of the way you honor your body for the greater honor of your relationship with Jesus. Surely He smiles when His daughters pull that cami up to conceal delicate cleavage from the eyes that don't need to see it, or when she changes her skirt because she will not risk drawing attention to the intimate places of her body. She is hedging her purity in with a message that says, "I am not cheap, and I'm not begging for you to check me out".
Another place of physical hedging is how a young woman touches or allows herself to be touched. Impurity can begin so innocently. A girl who gives a hug to a guy with full body contact may not recognize that having this level of contact is very stimulating to her guy friends. She needs to avoid placing her body against her guy friends in order to protect herself and to protect them from wandering down unacceptable thought paths about her. It will sound pretty old school to say that physical touch like making out and the things that happen after that are off the list of a wise girl's "acceptable behavior list", but they are. Physical touching is progressive. If you are not responsible to set a boundary that keeps things at a respectable stopping point, you will easily keep on the escalator and go further and further toward acts that are sacredly designed for marriage. Paul tells the new believers not to defraud or steal from each other in this way. This guarding begins with how you speak to a guy. Mary reminds young women to keep all your electronic communication pure; don't phone, text, chat, email, skype, or anything else you have available, any message of yourself that is intentionally sexual. Don't tease with seductive words or looks. Don't invite or allow touch that is intended to be sensuous. Don't invite a guy to touch your legs, or other parts of your body that you should share only with your husband. Set the hedge up now with a heart that wants to please the Lover of your soul. When the time comes for the full expression of marital intimacy, you will reap a rich reward.
Designer Insights
Read 1 Thessalonians 4:1-4: Create a list of hedges that you could create to help you walk out the guidance of this verse.
Read 1 Corinthians 6:18-20: How does honoring God with your body relate to creating hedges of protection?
Read Psalm 119: 1-3 What is the reward for choosing to walk in careful obedience?
Ask God to help you create a list of personal boundaries that you will follow to protect your own purity and set an example for the purity of others; write them down and keep them in a place you will see them often. Pray that the Lord will help you live out these boundaries.
May God help you to create lovely hedges that will keep the fragrance of your life pure and your future full of blessing.
Read 1 Corinthians 6:18-20: How does honoring God with your body relate to creating hedges of protection?
Read Psalm 119: 1-3 What is the reward for choosing to walk in careful obedience?
Ask God to help you create a list of personal boundaries that you will follow to protect your own purity and set an example for the purity of others; write them down and keep them in a place you will see them often. Pray that the Lord will help you live out these boundaries.
May God help you to create lovely hedges that will keep the fragrance of your life pure and your future full of blessing.
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